Top 15 Funniest Jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe 2017


  1. “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change” – Ken Cheng
  2. “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book” – Frankie Boyle
  3. “I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” – Alexei Sayle
  4. “I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her” – Lew Fitz
  5. “I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated” – Andy Field
  6. “Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant” – Mark Simmons
  7. “I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it…” – Jimeoin
  8. “I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house” – Ed Byrne
  9. “I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died… which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine” – Olaf Falafel
  10. “Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences.’ I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!”‘ – Alasdair Beckett-King
  11. “A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event” – Angela Barnes
  12. “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer” – Adele Cliff
  13. “For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it” – Phil Wang
  14. “I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark” – Adam Hess
  15. “I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act” – Tim Vine
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Following the Police


I was walking past a police station the other day when I saw a sign outside. It said “Follow us on Twitter”. I thought, good idea. After all, the bastards are always following me!

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Warning: Beer May Contain Female Hormones


Scientists have released the results of a recent analysis that suggested the presence of female hormones in beer.

The theory is that Beer contains female hormones (hops contain Oestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men can turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 large drafts of beer within a one hour period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects – yes, 100% of all these men:

  1. Argued over nothing.
  2. Refused to apologise when obviously wrong.
  3. Gained weight.
  4. Talked excessively without making sense.
  5. Became overly emotional.
  6. Couldn’t drive.
  7. Failed to think rationally.
  8. Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary.

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