One day, somewhere in the American bible belt, a drunk staggered out of a bar and decided to go down to the river to sleep it off before returning home.
As he wandered along the river bank he saw a crowd and on getting closer realised it was a preacher baptising people in the river. He made his way to the water’s edge and stood watching the proceedings for a while.
Presently the preacher ran out of ‘converts’ and called to the crowd “Is there anyone else to be baptised in the name of the Lord?” At this point the drunk lost his footing and fell off the bank and into the river. The preacher noticed this and called out to him “Yes, brother. Approach and be baptised into the Lord.” Unable to see an obvious escape route the drunk did as he was bid and approached the preacher.
As he approached, the preacher smelt the alcohol on the man’s breath and cried out: “Lord have mercy on your drunken soul, brother – are you ready to find Jesus?” Too drunk to resist , the drunk agrees: “Yes, I am!” and at that, the preacher grabs him and dunks him under the water. Moments later, he drags him back up and asks “Brother, have you found Jesus?” “No, preacher,” stammers the drunk, “I have not!”
Surprised by this, the preacher sends the drunk down again, this time leaving him there a little longer. Shortly he drags him back up again and says “Rid your soul of the poison, brother – have you found Jesus?” Gasping for air, the drunk again splutters a reply: “No, preacher – I have not!”
A little vexed by now, the preacher sends the drunk down one last time and on pulling him out demands “For the love of God, tell me you’ve found Jesus!”
Coughing and spluttering , the drunk wipes his eyes and turns to the preacher and splutters “Are you sure this is where He fell in?”