A drunk man, smelling of beer, sat down on a train next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of booze was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, “Say Father, what causes arthritis?”
The priest replied, “My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.”
The drunk muttered in response, “Well, I’ll be damned,” then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologised. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so harsh. How long have you had arthritis?”
The drunk answered, “I haven’t, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope has.”