Marrying a Princess

A commoner was to marry a princess. Having no background in royal etiquette, however, he had to make regular visits to an adviser to learn how to conduct himself with his new circle of acquaintances.

One day, they finally got to the delicate issue of the wedding night.

“Fairly straight forward, isn’t it?” said the young man. “Normally, yes.” said the advisor, “but you’re a commoner and she’s a princess. You can’t just jump on her like you were a royal prince. It has to be done more formally. We’re a bit in unknown territory here, but I’ve consulted the relevant parties and the suggested procedure is as follows.”

“On retiring to the Royal bedchamber you should proceed straight to the side room and make yourself ready for bed. After a period of precisely fifteen minutes you should return to the bedchamber where you will find Her Highness sitting up in bed. You should now stand to attention by the bed and wait. Her Highness will then say the words ‘I offer my honour’ to which you must respond ‘I honour your offer'”

The advisor paused. After a few moments the young bridegroom to be asked “Well, what then?” The advisor stared at him strangely and replied “Well then it’s honour and offer all night!”

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