Positive Thinking – with caveats

Believe in yourself, because the rest of us think you’re an idiot.

Just because you’ve always done it that way doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly stupid.

It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it’s really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life, then you’re pretty much stuffed no matter what you wish for. Unless it’s death by meteor.

Teach every child you meet the importance of forgiveness. It’s your only hope of surviving their wrath once they realize just how badly we’ve screwed things up for them.

Every man dies. But not every man truly lives only to die of sheer stupidity.

Pride: the art of calling faith in yourself “Self-Esteem” while calling it “conceit” when you see it in others.

Acquisition: the discovery that your company is no longer a big fish in a small pond, nor even a small fish in a big pond, but rather a small fish in a big fish.

That which does not kill me merely postpones the inevitable.

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