Cecil Parkinson goes up to Heaven and knocks on the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter puts his head out and says “Oh, it’s you is it. What do you want?”
“Well, I’d like to come in” says Parky.
“You’re joking,” says Saint Peter. We don’t allow Tory Cabinet ministers in here and especially not you, not after the way you treated your daughter!”
“But I did some good things in my life” objects Parky.
“Such as?” says Peter.
Parky racks his brains and says “Well, I once gave ten pounds to Oxfam.”
“Is that all?” says Peter “You’ll have to do better than that to get in here.”
Parky thinks again and says “I also gaver a tenner to Children In Need and another ten quid to Chistian Aid. Surely that must count for something.”
“Hmm. Wait here” says Saint Peter, “I’ll have to consult The Boss on this one.”
Five minutes later Peter returns and says “Ok. I’ve had a word with God. Here’s your thirty quid back. Now f**k off!”