Eleven top gags from Edinburgh 2019


My Mum’s new obsession is trying to do 10,000 steps a day. That’s her whole life. Every day, 5000 out, 5000 back, like a sort of menopausal Proclaimer.
Stuart McPherson

My name is Mo, short for Mohamed. No relation
Mo Omar

My counsellor hates me, so we had something in common straightaway.
Hannah Platt

I’m from a big family – I’m one of five kids. Growing up in a big family is amazing, if you’re a fan of neglect.
Helena Langdon

I had a mental breakdown on my gap year so my mum sent my brother to find me; even though I’d already gone to Thailand to find myself.
Luke Chilton

My ex-girlfriend’s dad kept asking me whether I ski or snowboard. The closest I’ve been is down a hill on a bin lid.
Joe Hobbs

I’m living the American dream, which since 2016 has been NOT being in America.
Kemah Bob

I was on a train and there was a sign that said “we don’t tolerate anti-social behaviour at any point”… so I just stood up and introduced myself to everyone.
Donald Alexander

My therapist says I need to work on my dependency issues… but she’s the one that wants to see me twice a week.
Hannah Fairweather

I’m gay, I’m dyslexic and I’m left-handed – I am a catholic teacher’s worst nightmare.
Josh Jones

My girlfriend recently described me as a “sex god”… because I’m so ineffective she’s not always convinced I’m there.
Bryan Ghosh

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