Scientists have released the results of a recent analysis that suggested the presence of female hormones in beer.
The theory is that Beer contains female hormones (hops contain Oestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men can turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 large drafts of beer within a one hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects – yes, 100% of all these men:
- Argued over nothing.
- Refused to apologise when obviously wrong.
- Gained weight.
- Talked excessively without making sense.
- Became overly emotional.
- Couldn’t drive.
- Failed to think rationally.
- Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.
Cecil Parkinson goes up to Heaven and knocks on the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter puts his head out and says “Oh, it’s you is it. What do you want?”
“Well, I’d like to come in” says Parky.
“You’re joking,” says Saint Peter. We don’t allow Tory Cabinet ministers in here and especially not you, not after the way you treated your daughter!”
“But I did some good things in my life” objects Parky.
“Such as?” says Peter.
Parky racks his brains and says “Well, I once gave ten pounds to Oxfam.”
“Is that all?” says Peter “You’ll have to do better than that to get in here.”
Parky thinks again and says “I also gaver a tenner to Children In Need and another ten quid to Chistian Aid. Surely that must count for something.”
“Hmm. Wait here” says Saint Peter, “I’ll have to consult The Boss on this one.”
Five minutes later Peter returns and says “Ok. I’ve had a word with God. Here’s your thirty quid back. Now f**k off!”